The Pool is Open, and My Ass is Dreading it

The pool is open can be dreaded words for some women. Especially, those of us whom have given birth recently, and therefore, slacked off on the lunges! Last year, I was preggers during pool season, and I have to admit I actually got excited about the fact that I could go all Demi Moore at the pool. No, not full on naked, but proud in my two piece, strutting around the pool with my little belly on display. It was quite rewarding not giving two shits if my stomach was hanging out. I could see all of the skinnies watching enviously while I gorged on watermelon and frito’s. They too wanted to let their stomach’s out and eat in the open, gasp and dare I say it, in front of one another free from judgement.

This year, when the dreaded email went out to all of my neighborhood that the pool was now open, I decided to do some bathing suit shopping in my bathing suit drawer with fingers crossed. Big mistake! Although I have lost all of the weight, and I look pretty good from the front view, my ass however did not get the memo, and my back view needs some work from a mechanic…to beat the dents out. The mirror can be a tricky little bitch. From the front view, the bitch would say, I look about 30, but the back view is another story.

So the question is what to do? I haven’t been the most diligent on my workout routine. Between working ten to twelve hours a day and taking care of a baby, there is just not enough time in the day. Yes, I could get up at 5 am and work out, but that is not happening! I guess me and my stretched out Shoshanna triangle top and M/L bottoms will have to make it work this year. Time to start sipping out of my water bottle and knawing on kale chips at the pool with all of my neighbors. Maternity leave is officially over. Mama has got to check in, get out of the buffet line, and into the lunge line. Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!